From all the stand up comedy that I have watched, this is the list of comics that I have. The list is arranged in the descending order - from the best to the so-so and less. [Wherever I could recollect, the name of the show that I have seen them in is also added]
1. Bernie Mac - The Original Kings of Comedy, Def Comedy Jam 2. DL Hugely - The Original Kings of Comedy, Def Comedy Jam, 3. Steve Harvey - The Original Kings of Comedy 4. Cedric the Entertainer - The Original Kings of Comedy [Mentioned at the top because the whole show - The Original Kings of Comedy, is simply, just simply, hilarious] 5. Mitch Hedberg - Mitch Hedberg Special 6. Chris Rock - Bring the Pain, Bigger and Blacker, Kill the Messenger, Never Scared 7. Richard Pryor - Random clips 8. George Carlin - Random clips 9. Rowan Atkinson - Rowan Atkinson: Live 10. Robin Williams - Reality, What A Concept; Robin Williams: Live on Broadway 11. Bill Maher - Be More Cynical, Victory Begins At Home 12. Dave Gorman - Googlewhack adventures 13. Eddie Murphy - Random clips 14. Dylan Moran - Monster 15. Earthquake - One Night Stand, About Goddamn Time 16. Lewis Black - Red, White and Screwed; Black on Broadway 17. Zach Galifianakis - Purple onion, Between Two Ferns 18. Chris Tucker - Random clips 19. Russel Peters - New york central: Live; Red, White and Brown 20. Jeff Dunham - Spark Of Insanity 21. Robert Schimmel - Unprotected 22. Dave Chappele - For what its worth 23. Jo Koy - Jo Koy Special 24. Pablo Fransisco - Bits and Pieces 25. Katt Williams - American Hustle 26. Joe Rogan - Joe Rogan: Live 27. Jerry Seinfeld - from Seinfeld 28. Brian Regan, Demen Martin, Jim Gaffigan, Sebastian Maniscalco - Comedy Central 29. Dane Cook - The Insomniac Tour, Vicious Circle 30. Carlos Mencia - Take A Joke America; Mind of Mencia, No Strings Attached
About the conference: SVUG - System Verilog User Group Conference. Taj Residency . Wednesday. 11th of November, 2009.
[Prologue: The conference was great. I could actually understand what was being explained almost completely, and that is a rare occurrence during conferences in general. Till lunch it was mostly an introduction to System Verilog and its uses for designers and in verification. Post lunch was mostly on OVM - Open Verification Methodology. Since that was methodology was alien, it was not as interesting as the first session was . But in general the latter half too was appreciated and was received with as much attention.]
Excerpts from the notes that I jotted down during the talks follow. They are mostly one liners from, C. Cummings, the speaker who delivered the brilliant talks in the first session:
[At the beginning of his talk, second point in his second slide] I would like you all to sit back and listen and not interrupt me at all throughout the presentation.... NOT!!
[On adding assertions to legacy code using bind] But if your mother and I ever catch you using the bind command to instantiate modules, we will be very angry with you.
[On using bind files properly] Start using outputs in bind files, then the designer will have very unkind words for you.
[On using macros in defining assertions] I introduced macros for assertions mostly for the designers. Because they are lazy.... C'mon, you know its true.
[On a question asked in a very low voice, after the talk] You need to be more assertive when you speak, or we need to get you a mike.
[When his computer switched off suddenly] I think the laptop feels it will work better with the power cord connected.
[During the time it took to restart] I can do hand puppets till the comp boots... [Laughs heard all around] It doesn't matter anyway. It was only a summary slide.
[When the booting took even longer] We can take questions from the audience now, without any distractions on the screen... Not that it is my choice.
[Announcing lunch after the talks slightly ate into the lunch time, and people were fidgeting] I guess there is some food available to the left of this room. I think you can go and have some. I mean, only if anyone really wants to.
[End of the conference, while calling out the name of the last of 5 persons who'd won OVM code books on a lucky draw, after the others called out company first and first letter of the person's name before calling it out entirely] Since it has become a routine... Ok.. How many of you are from Flextora*? [Three hands go up] Ok.. Does your name start with K? [One hand goes down] Does your name have a vowel in it? [Laughs heard all round]
PS: There were other one-liners too. Most of these would have worked better if one had actually been there. PPS: The lunch was great. So were the drinks and snacks at the end of the conference PPPS: Day well spent.
Mostly because of the fact that I presently, as of this moment, have completely exhausted all the anime I had, both good, not-so-good, can't be in the vicinity of the word 'good'; and also because of other smaller things like the fact that I haven't written anything in a very long time; and I just finished Chetan Bhagat's latest dish out - 2 States - and figured, if something like that can get published into a book, the world is prepared to take a post like this any day; general boredom, a really unsteady internet connection from the last two days, and a blank notepad file in front of me, this post comes into existence.
Mostly because of the fact that Sagar(evilsense) bought a new cycle; and also because of other smaller things like it being a three day weekend; more than just two interested people; more than just one new bicycle; not too bad weather plus no rain, Diwali and with it the hope that there would be more than just vehicles on the street, for instance, stuff like crackers etc. ; myself, evilsense and Sarvesh(sakku) decided to go on a one day cycling trip a few weekends ago.
Mostly because after meeting up near Attiguppe, which is, according to Google Maps, almost in the middle from my house(Shankarmutt) and Sakku's(Rajarajeshwarinagar) and travelling along Bangalore University, NLS etc and reaching Sarvesh's place for brunch, we had no distinct routes chalked out to cycle, we thought we would generally ride the outskirts and catch any pools/water-logged areas/other buildings of note along the way - and in the process of doing so reached Kengeri.
Mostly because even after meeting with few relatives of mine in Kengeri and discussing options about nearby places to cycle, the only place that was at a ride-able distance and could be accepted as a tourist spot with some value was the Big Banyan Tree, we found ourselves there at around 2 in the afternoon after about a 7 km uphill climb off Mysore road.
Mostly because the grass was green and so inviting, and our thighs and behinds had known better times, general tiredness, several monkeys that seemed to mind their own business, a vantage place to keep an eye on our bicycles - since two of them didn't have proper locks - and one didn't have a lock at all, a huge canopy overhead by the one single huge banyan tree which blocked most of the sunlight and made the place around real cool, not too many interesting females walking around- the power nap for the next hour felt great.
Mostly because we still had time to kill after, and one of us remembered that we did pack a camera, and a general interest to see what the fuss about the tree was all about, to check out the graffiti on the bark - some of those signatures in impossible places on the tree; and because the single tree sprawled over 4 acres by itself; and the hope that there might be some of the above-mentioned females around; we walked through and around the tree.
Mostly because the guard-person had got tired of telling people off about things they should not be doing - which on later realization, he probably had mugged from the huge list that was displayed on a board with a green background - at the entrance of the tree; or probably he was just bored; he told us a few details about the tree - details which I could have done better justice to if I'd written this post earlier - about how this was the second biggest banyan tree in India, how the existing Shiva temple in the center was the place where the original trunk was, how it was over 450 years old, and it has some 2000 odd off-shoots that are twined together and nurtured, so that they can continue to grow, about the 4.5 odd acres, and other such numbers and data I can't quite seem to recollect now.
Mostly because the above-mentioned hope wasn't held up, and the realization that we were about 25 odd kilometers away from my house and similar two digit numbers to the others'; and the fact that the thighs and the behinds were starting to get accustomed to the walking on the ground; and the fact that it was Diwali which expects some attendance in the house when one is in the same city; we cycled back - sagar, sakku and me and reached home - in that order.
Mostly because this has gone on longer than I thought it would, I am ending the post here.
PS: Raw data: 1. Total distance in one day = Over 50 km 2. Date = October 17th, 2009 3. Start time = 7:00 am 4. End time = 6:00 pm (4:45 pm- 6:00 pm) 5. Cycles used =
Mine: Cannon barrel: Bought Jan 1, 1996, Cycle seat inserted on 16th Oct, 2009.
Sagar: Hero - New Age Hawk. Bought 2009
Sarvesh: Hercules Ryders. Bought 2009
6. Exact route taken* = (insert Google Map snapshot here if it is ever taken) 7. A few random pics* = (Just the one actually)8. Previous cycling trips = The Bicycle Diaries
*reasons heartily used to delay the post
About the Big Banyan Tree: 1. Size = 4.5 - 5 acres 2. Age = 450 odd years 3. How to reach: Drive on Mysore Road beyond Kengeri, take a deviation to the right at Kumbalagod junction and proceed for 7 km. If approaching from Magadi Road, turn left at a spot with a clear indication between Tavarekere and Chennenahalli, and continue for about 6 km.
Remembered having scribbled this as a draft of an illustration/comic for an article in the magazine. I stumbled upon this after a long time. Its blogged here to do some justice to the fifteen minutes that I spent on it. [Click here to biggify]
The man followed the old geezer. The old man limped, probably from a bullet wound. It was hard to say, as most of his left leg was swathed in old bandages that looked like they hadn't been changed in years. They walked in silence. The path they trod did not seem oft visited. But it seemed that the old timer knew exactly where he was going. They kept good time regardless of his limping.
The man bowed his head and thought. It had been about two years ago that he had taken on this mission. His peers hadn’t wanted him to. They had more or less accepted that his captured partner would have been killed by now. And even if he wasn’t, the chances that he could be found, and if found, that he would still be sane were very slim at best. But the man couldn’t be persuaded against. He and his partner had always worked as a team. They were the best agents the company ever had. If there was any chance of rescuing the captive, he was their only shot.
The man had left no stone unturned. The capturers knew his comrade was very valuable. And his whereabouts had been kept very private. But years of doing what he did, finding people with information, and extracting it came as a second nature to him. But this time around though, it hadn’t been easy at all. He was one of the top in his line of work, and it had taken him this long to find this place.
He had found the old man in the smallish village at the foot of the small dense hillock, they were presently walking through. The old man was the only one who seemed to have some idea of where the building was, which through the fragments of information the man had obtained, was most probably where his friend was being held.
The old man turned sharply to the left and pushed through an overgrowth of vegetation, and in a clearing, hidden from the path, there was a creepy, medium sized building. It appeared self sufficient from the looks of it. There was a water pump, a generator, cut up wood. But it looked deserted and seemed out of use for months now.
Mostly by habit, the man circled the place once slowly. He found no signs of recent human activity anywhere around. He entered the building and quickly scanned all the rooms. It appeared there had been about three people, mostly guards.
This definitely felt like the right place.
He discovered the hidden door behind the wardrobe quite easily. He had noticed the faint scratch marks on the floor the moment he’d walked in. He shoved the wardrobe aside, picked the lock, and walked down the dark staircase that followed.
There was a very heavy iron door with a huge bar keeping it closed at the end. There was a small latched opening at the bottom which he assumed was for passing a tray of food and water.
He lifted the bar and pulled mightily at the door. It creaked and opened slowly. He stepped inside.
It was the gloomiest room he had ever seen. There was no source of light except a very small opening almost close to the ceiling. There were broken pieces of what might have been a table or a chair once. There were a few threadbare rags in a corner. The rough stone walls all around felt creepy and cold.
There were two things that drew his attention though. One was the faint blood stains on the floor and the wall. It seemed it had been hastily cleaned up after, but he knew where to look, and he found them without much difficulty. The other item of intrigue was a strange contraption that was made of pieces of wood and cloth. It was hanging from an out jutting in the stone wall. It looked like a pouch, with some sort of a lid.
He walked a couple of steps and looked inside it. It was empty save for some minute bread crumbs at the bottom. He shut the lid and looked around the stone walls once more, taking in everything. The he closed his eyes. He thought.
The pattern of the faint blood stains indicated a fight. A fight indicated that his partner had escaped, or at least tried to. But this was a perfect locked room mystery. There was only the iron door and no other points of entry or exit. This did not seem like a place of interrogation, and since it appeared that the prisoner was being held here the whole time, there was no need for any guard to enter the room. He opened his eyes. They rested on the pouch which was swinging back and forth gently
And then it hit him. He smiled for the first time in years.
He heard a sound and turned around and saw that the old man had followed him and was peering interestedly into the room.
The man asked the old geezer – ‘So, partner… what did you do for water?’
The old man gaped and stared at him wide eyed for a few seconds. Then he grinned hugely. He stood up straight and stretched his limbs. He took a cloth and rubbed his face clean. He cast his wig aside and ran a hand through his hair, grinning still. The change was astounding. No one would have believed that he had been a septuagenarian seconds ago.
He stared questioningly at the man, and shook his head in resignation when the man pointed in the direction of the faint blood stains.
‘And?’ he said.
‘And… this, here’- the man said, pointing to the pouch –‘There is no way that you would have been given so much bread every day, that you needed something of this sort to store it in. You ate only a part of the bread and stored the rest here for sometime, didn’t you? And when you had sufficient amount stored, you probably started eating less and less each day, and leaving the rest in the tray. And then, probably, you completely stopped eating the bread given to you. The guards then would have had to come in to investigate or throw your dead body out. That’s how you escaped, right?’
The look on his partner’s face confirmed his theory.
The man smiled again. ‘But water would not have lasted all that long. What did you do for that?’
His partner bent down and lifted a piece of broken wood, and went to the far side of the room, speaking as he went. ‘Knew I should have cleaned up the stains better, but I wanted to get out of this place pretty bad by then.’ He pushed the wood between two stones in the wall and slowly water began to flow along the length of the wood. ‘Slightly cracked a water pipe’, he said, cupping the water flowing in his hands. ‘Discovered it within the first month in this hole itself’
He turned around and faced the man- ‘By the way, how did you know it was me? I thought the disguise was perfect. Not one single guy in the whole village had the faintest idea.’
‘You can’t disguise a person’s eyes’, the man said.
‘... and also… you have been limping on the wrong leg ever since I met you, partner.’
Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed- interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing sprit- crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing you last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that?
The lines above are the reason this post came into existence. (But in that post.. there was nothing sarcastic.. only the idea of itemization of everyday things was borrowed)
By the way, I never knew there was a second half to the above thing.
So why did I do it? I could offer a million answers, all false. The truth is that I'm a bad person, but that's going to change, I'm going to change. This is the last of this sort of thing. I'm cleaning up and I'm moving on, going straight and choosing life. I'm looking forward to it already. I'm going to be just like you: the job, the family, the fucking big television, the washing machine, the car, the compact disc and electrical tin opener, good health, low cholesterol, dental insurance, mortgage, starter home, leisurewear, luggage, three-piece suite, DIY, game shows, junk food, children, walks in the park, nine to five, good at golf, washing the car, choice of sweaters, family Christmas, indexed pension, tax exemption, clearing the gutters, getting by, looking ahead, to the day you die.
If this was there in the original movie, I don't remember it at all. Just one of those things that are really huge to tweet. Random post. Real heavy lines though. Hail John Hodge.
After having seriously considered putting up a blank post tagged Life is still like that, for about 10 minutes, I thought since all the gchat status message space is being occupied these days... I would just put up random lines here that probably might have been put up there:
These follow no particular order. They make no particular sense too.
Been to Hyderabad. Attended cousin sister's wedding. Came back. That's about all that happened.
Read the Watchmen comics. The only non-manga comics till now. Liked them better than the movie. The movie wasn't that bad to be fair too.
Read Ender's Game. Best science fiction I have read till now. Though the only others I remember reading are Asimov's 'A Child of Time' and Arthur Clarke's '3001, The Final Odyssey'. I do remember reading a book about sci-fi short stories, but its too far into the past and all too vague.
Saw Harry Potter -and the Half Blood Prince in Inox, Forum. Liked Ron and Luna's acting. Liked the scene with the fire and Inferi in the end. The rest of the movie was trash. Re-reading the book to get over it.
One Piece and Bleach manga are reaching amazing heights these days. And if you in any way like anime or manga, I would really recommend that you start on these. Naruto Shippuden is not too bad too. But the first two over shadow this.
Been watching a lot of Joe Odagiri's movies. Yet to see one movie of his which was not downright brilliant. Saw Dream last. New respect for the dude.
Watched the second season of Black Lagoon. Hate that they stopped at that. It was really good.
Watched Trigun. Liked it better than Gun vs Sword, which is of the same genre.
Started watching Samurai Deeper Kyo. Seems better than Buso Renkin. But still don't feel it measures in any way up to most other anime series that I have seen
Read A Dangerous Fortune by Ken Follet. The last paper back I read. Again, since I mostly used to read bits of it on the bus, and it was not all in one sitting, it didn't feel all that great.
Have a Wilbur Smith(Wild Justice) and a Arthur Hailey (In High Places) now. Yet to start either. Miss reading books in one sitting.
Saw the trailer for Dexter 4. Hate that no decent serials restart in the near future.
Listening to Tool after a long time. Sounds good.
And from 11:10 pm to 11:17 pm these are the only things that came into the mind.
And there was a mail titled: "Evacuation Drill - Advance Notification" about a couple of days ago.
Since this has been about the most `happening' thing here for a while now; and since this usually involves some movement away from the well set route from the main building to the cubicle; and since it has been a long time since the last post and waiting for some divine inspiration seems like a waste of time; and since this is compilation time plus since this monitor is a CRT, and also since there is no decent room among the aisles to follow this advice... [The alt-text in the original strip reads: "'Are you stealing those LCDs?' 'Yeah, but I'm doing it while my code compiles.'"] ... I created a new virtual desktop, named it Arbits, invoked MS Word from Linux and started from - "And there was a mail...".
As the story goes, It was just another Thursday yesterday. For all practical purposes, it could have been a Tuesday, and none the wiser. This would be the direct result of all the working days mashing into one entity called the Weekday. And then there is the Weekend entity. And thus the week is constituted. I digress. For good reason though.
As stated, it was just another Thursday yesterday. It was the compilation time again. I had decided to use it to return a library book that I had borrowed. The only purpose the book had served, for about three months, was to add about 138 gms to my bag, but since I had got a much thicker Ken Follet novel - 'A Dangerous Fortune', after serious thought, decided to let this one go.
Along the way from the library, I met with a few people who were on the way to play table tennis, and I decided to go along. We went all the way there, through the drizzle that was falling from the heavens all around us, and just as we managed to find some rackets that could be remotely identified, from a few angles, as being used to play table tennis at some point of time in their lifetimes; this guard runs up to us and says that the centre needs to be closed down as there is a Fire Drill in the main building - which is a five minutes walk away. I go that place to play after more than a month, and I get shooed away because of the fear of a fake fire spreading to an unconnected building, two furlongs way, through the now steadily falling downpour.
The best part was when, moments before we were ushered out, another guard ran into the changing rooms, and together both guards started banging on the door of this dude who was having a bath inside. It's a pity that I couldn't stay to watch the person's expression, as he was kicked off half way through his shower.
I spent the evacuated time sitting near the parking lot, under a sheet roof, watching the rain fall on the parked cars, and waiting for some guard to call me off from there, as evacuation protocol dictates, in no unclear terms, that all personnel should gather only at the front of the building. Mostly, since they were all too busy fighting invisible flames, or pasting post-it notes, all of which were scribbled with the grim message "Evacuation - Fire Alarm. Do Not Enter" on everything that can be called as doors or windows, I was left undisturbed.
Anyway.. the story ends with the guys coming back to play fifteen minutes later, under one huge umbrella, and me joining them... But that would be tagged 'digression' again.
Guess this is enough build-up to copy paste the mail that I had sent to the new hire email group, about a year ago, after a very similar fire drill exercise. The compilation should be done in another few minutes anyway.
The mail follows: ________________________________________ Subject: Re: Rescue Operations - Part 2 From: "P N, Aniruddha" Date: Fri, 5 Dec 2008 21:29:47 +0530 To: [all new hires]
Things learned:
0. In case of a real fire - DO NOT use the stairs immediately. a. Sleepwalking snails cover the same distance in a shorter time period. b. It is just a stampede waiting to happen c. The fire alarms are really loud, and most of those seem to be concentrated near the stairs d. The surrounding people are good conductors of fire
So, this is what you do: Relax in your cubicle and think of a good status message along the lines of 'brb.. building in flames'; check the latest news; random xkcd, or whatever else makes you happy - till the smoke gets so thick that you can no longer see the monitor -
Then: 1. Take the lift. Feel real happy because for once at least you can look at something else except your shoes or your mobile 2. If 1 is not an option, get to the terrace and wait for a fireman with a makeshift ladder - it is way cooler to get down that way. 3. None of the above + no other creative ideas - like using ropes and imitating Tarzan, using Sharingan imitating Sasuke etc. + then give up, put on some music to shut out the sound of alarms, sigh and go to 0. [But by now a., b., and d. are taken care off - so it's a 75% better situation]
:P
Happy weekend ya'all,
Kampai, Aniruddha P N
Statutory Warning: All described actions to be carried out at your own risk
PS: I thought of putting a J at the end of the mail, but I figured a warning would serve a better purpose. ___________________________________________________________ In response to: ________________________________________ From: [undisclosed sender] Sent: Friday, December 05, 2008 4:39 AM To: [all new hires] Subject: Rescue Operations
Can some one summarize how many people got affected due to the emergency? How many got rescued with no injuries etc ________________________________________
This is the... And to all the people who took their time off to look at the blog, comment, criticize, correct, complain, compliment, discuss, debate, elaborate, feign interest, follow, LQTM'd, meh'd, LOL'ed at, snigger, praise, peruse, turn their nose up at, teach.. Thank you! Thank you very much!
This is what happened when I tried to login to my twitter account: Name this pic: I could only come up with: 1. Twitter : A whale of a problem 2. Twitter : Sleeping with the fishes 3. Twitter : Four moronic birds 4. Twitter : Fail Whale
Firefox usually updates automatically every time there is a new release. The only difference is the look of the home page this time around:Looks like it came right out of a sci-fi manga.
PS: The only difference from the other version, that I can see right away, is the 'Open a new tab' button on the opened-tabs bar has gone pale, compared to the bluish color previously. PPS: Everything else feels the same. PPPS: YAY! that its been raining cats and dogs for about two hours now.
PS: Found half of this list lying around... just added whatever else came to my head. PPS: The list doesn't include other famous titles like Dragon Ballz, Samurai Champloo, Cowboy Bepop, Inuyasha, Fate Stay Night, Full Metal Panic, Full Metal Alchemist: Part 2: The Brotherhood, Gintama, Seirei no Moribito, Code Geass, Detective School Q etc. 'coz I haven't seen enough of these to fit them into the list. PPPS: Got nothing good watch right now. Looking around for some decent anime (not necessarily from the list in PPS). Suggestions welcome.
The man knew this place like the back of his hand. He probably could sketch each rock, every tree, the anthills present here from memory. He trod the pathway unfeelingly today. Mechanically. Noticing nothing. His legs carried him without any conscious effort on his part.
He swayed a little as he walked. He gripped the bottle in his hand tighter. It had been a long time since he had been to this place. He stopped a moment and took a deep swig of liquor from the bottle.
Random scenes started floating in his memory. He started to walk without realizing again. He had always been lonely in his life. But he had never felt alone. It was only after he got married and had his first child, he had realized that his life had really been empty till then. He was happy for the first time in his life.
The scenes in his head ware clear and the images lifelike. He was holding and feeding his son while the toddler was gazing at the moon. He was holding his kid’s hand as he walked his first steps. He was blowing air into the wheels of the tricycle, as the child impatiently danced around him. He was teaching him the alphabet from a ridiculously huge chart. He was trying to explain division as repeated subtractions. He was correcting the loops in the ‘g’s and the ‘y’s in the boy’s cursive writing book. He was waving his son a bon voyage, as he left with his mother on a ship - a trip on the sea - which had always been the boy’s dream; using all the strength he could muster to keep his tears hidden. He could, as clear as day, hear his son’s choked voice assuring him that he would explain in detail every little thing that occurred on the trip. He could see his wife smiling, as she put an arm across their son’s shoulders. He was watching as the ship drifting away beyond the horizon.
The images became muddled and blurry then. It was like in a tragic movie fast forwarded. Headlines from various papers about the shipwreck. Delays in the search and rescue teams. Body counts. Missing people. His son and his wife among the feared dead list. Mourning and cries. His first drink. His tenth. His hundredth…
The cold sea breeze hit him then. That broke the images and brought him to the present like magic. He stared into the calm sea for a while. His mind was surprisingly clear for the first time from a long time now. He had always loved this beach. He had fallen in love with this place about the same age that his son had. The family used to come here as often as they could. This was a secluded and an unheard of place. It always felt peaceful here. He felt that he belonged again. The raising and falling of the waves calmed him. He stood there for a long time. He slowly began to feel that he could heal. That, at last, he could accept that his family was gone.
By force of habit, he raised the bottle to his mouth. The moment the liquid touched his lips, he felt disgusted with himself. His child would not want to see his father like this. No one would. He had let his sadness ruin his life long enough. He ran a few steps on the sand and threw the bottle as far as he could into the sea.
He felt strangely light. He took a huge breath and exhaled slowly. He could feel the pain of his loss start to ebb away slowly. He sat down on the beach and looked at the reflection of the moon on the waves in the distance transfixed. The waves lapped at his feet every now and then. He felt that he was a part of nature.
After a long time he decided to leave. He would change everything. The beach had done him a world of good. But there were just too many memories here. He decided that he would go to a far off place and start a new and sober life all over again.
He stood up and turned around. The bottle lay in his way again. The sight of it somehow made him angry. He picked it up, all set to throw it into the sea again.
But this bottle felt different. It felt slightly old. He looked at it. It was opaque, dark and corked. It was not the same bottle that he had thrown away. He pulled the cork off, and realized that it had a letter within.
The moonlight was not really bright. But the man didn’t really need anything more. He did not even need to read till the end of the letter.
It started – ‘To Daddy…’.
He could recognize the loop of the letter y in his sleep.
PS1:TINAMITE: The internal online quarterly magazine of the company PS2: Before I knew it I had a mail saying -
Aniruddha: Welcome to Tinamite team and we look forward to working with you.
As a part of the 'working with you' I was to write an article to - 'enthuse many more TIers to become a part of/ contribute articles in many ways to TINAMITE'. PS3: The article is pasted exactly as it appears in the magazine. PS4: The article below took the least amount of time to post to the blog ever. I just 'selected all' in the original article and middle-clicked in the create-new-post window. :) PS5: Editing the article in blogger - even adding this PS - is screwing up the entire arrangement of words and images. That is the reason for the existence of this post. PS6: The background in the original article in the magazine is white. PS7: TINAMITE May 2009 Issue
Update: The pictures in the post below had to be modified as the original pictures were linked to the company's internal site. :)
“Infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third, a quarter of a beer. And so on. The bartender says "You're all idiots", and pours two beers.”
Subject of the article: ‘Put Something In’ TINAMITE, where ‘Put Something In’ is partly defined by:
Put Something In Draw a crazy picture Write a nutty poem. Sing a mumble-gumble song Whistle through your comb Put something silly in the world That ain't been there before.
- Shel Silverstien
On a more serious note: A man should hear a little music, read a little poetry, and see a fine picture every day of his life, in order that worldly cares may not obliterate the sense of the beautiful which God has implanted in the human soul.[1]
It is certain that in this esteemed organization that several people amongst us have unique talents that transcend just exemplary skills in everyday work. So, put your creative hats on, grab a piece of paper, a pencil and get started. Consider this article a personal invitation to submit your creative outpourings.
Frequently Asked Questions:
How to write? No thinking - that comes later. You must write your first draft with your heart. You rewrite with your head. The first key to writing is... to write, not to think! [2]
What to write about? • Travelogues: The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page [3]. So, Travel. Fill pages. Submit the pages filled. Thus, more people can travel. Fill pages…
• Music: Supposed to be language of the soul. The poetry of the air. Love in search of a word. The shorthand of emotion. What feelings sound like. So, if you stumble upon some music that comes close to the above description, spread the joy. Let others know. Choose TINAMITE.
• Gaming: The Quakers, the Counter Strikers, DOTA warriors, PS2/ PS3/ Xbox/ Nintendo /Dreamcast/Game boy users, the MMORPGers - the rouges, the priests, the night crawlers, even people who stick to Minesweeper - As a Draenai Elf Vendor might say - "Your gold is welcome here!" (as long as it takes the form of an article) - feel free to discuss latest games, latest consoles, 25 men raids, God Like and Triple kills... even less than 100 seconds in expert level Minesweeper.
• Short Stories: The short story is like an old friend who calls whenever he is in town. We are happy to hear from it; we casually fan the embers of past intimacies, and buy it lunch[4]. Send in your stories. We would be really happy to hear from you. We might buy you lunch too.
• Poetry: The only problem with Haiku is that you just get started and then[5] Any poem with more than 17 syllables, thus, is most welcome.
• Art: A picture is worth a thousand words. A sketching or a painting is worth even more. Enough said.
• Hobbies: When your hobbies get in the way of your work - that's OK; but when your hobbies get in the way of themselves... well…[6] Put them in the magazine.
• General stuff: Individuals can expect miracles to happen to them, at the rate of about one per month [7]. Document any such revelation informally in TINAMITE for the greater good.
If you are reading this, it means that you have almost reached the end of this article: • Firstly, thanks a lot from taking the time out and perusing the article. Arigato Gozaimasu. • To define is to limit[8]. The ideas presented here constitute just the tip of the iceberg. As the tagline of the magazine says: Let your thoughts explode. • Always remember - o “Nothing is original” [9] o “It’s not where you take things from—it’s where you take them to” [10] o “90 percent of everything is crud.” [11]
We sincerely hope that you take up an action item to contribute for the future issues of the magazine.
* A farmer notices that his chickens were sick, and calls in a friend, who happens to be a physicist to help diagnose the problem. The physicist calls him back a few days later and says: “I think I have solved your problem, but it works only for spherical chickens in a vacuum”.
Credits:
[1] Johann Wolfgang von Goethe. [2] Forrester, Finding Forrester [2000]. [3] St. Augustine. [4] R Z Sheppard. [5] Roger McGough. [6] Steve Martin.
[7] Littlewood's law [8] Wiltshire's Law of Explanation [9] Jim Jarmusch [10] Jean Luc Godard [11] Sturgeon's revelation
The full screen F11 screen shot on my computer looks something like this. Scrolling down is absolutely essential for every small thing. This is in no way user friendly. And me being the most frequent user, it doesn't help in any way. And as the blog is creepy as it is, I can get rid of the huge picture.
Anyway, since there was some effort in choosing that particular picture and caption, and since the net keeps stabbing every five minutes or so, I thought I would write a couple of lines to justify why they were put up in the first place, before discarding them.
The header picture is the theatrical poster for the movie - White Noise, released in 2005.The caption is a play on the original quote by Don DeLillo on his own book called White Noise."It's about fear, death, and technology. A comedy, of course." -- DeLillo quoted in 1984. And I duly changed it to - "It's about randomness, life, and philosophy. A comedy, of course."
What the book - White Noise by DeLillo is really about - From the DeCurtis interview, DeLillo:
"In White Noise in particular, I tried to find a kind of radiance in dailiness. Sometimes this radiance can be almost frightening. Other times it can be almost holy or sacred.... Our sense of fear--we avoid it because we feel it so deeply, so there is an intense conflict at work.... I think it is something we all feel, something we almost never talk about, something that is almost there. I tried to relate it in White Noise to this other sense of transcendence that lies just beyond our touch. This extraordinary wonder of things is somehow related to the extraordinary dread, to the death fear we try to keep beneath the surface of our perceptions."
I try to do exaclty the same, as evident from any random post of mine. :P
The idea was to continue ranting till the net stabilies. And it has now. /Rant thus Btw, this blog made the status message of some 8 people in my gchat list simultaneoulsy. It is worth a read. :) PS: The full screen F11 screen shot of the blog looks now like this:Only the font remains. Way better now. LQTM at Leo Tolstoy Quote though. PPS: For those who follow anime - Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood has started. YAY!
And so i happened to see this dude online after the longest time.
[Started: 9:23 am on Tuesday]
me: oye longest time, man he: oh, hi ya me: still in blore? he: ya me: still in [insert the company name here]? he: ya me: wrote GATE? he: no me: wrote CAT or any of the other similar ones? he: no me: continuing in the company for now? he: yes u? me: yes the job good? he: ok. job is fine until they pay me: the food good? he: food from home me: oh. ok me: no plans for higher studies, etc this year then? he: not yet me: internet not accessible from your company? he: gmail, yahoo and all blocked me: thoo! only me: any increments in pay? he: no urs? me: no. me: any new girls that are friends? he: OMG, do u really know me? me: is that a yes? he: it was Oh My God me: i know, man he: so..no. me: ok me: can i blog this? he is offline. Messages you send will be delivered when he comes online.
The stick spun and twirled. It fell far for such a simple flick of the hand. The dog was after it in a flash. It picked the stick up and brought it back to its master. The general took the stick from its mouth and looked at it fondly. The dog never failed him. It was the only living thing that he trusted. He kept his distance from everyone else. That was what made him so efficient. So ruthless. So dangerous.
The man, spying at the general from outside, took out a cigarette from his pocket, threw it up and caught it in mouth. He lit the tip with his lighter. He was an assassin hired to kill the general. He felt this assignment was going to be particularly easy. He watched the general get into his car with the dog. A posse of four guards led the car in the front. He looked at his watch needlessly. He could have sworn it was 10: 30 am in the morning. The general was a machine. Everything around him worked like clockwork. That was going to be his downfall. The man took one last drag at the cigarette and flicked the stub away.
The man walked away slowly. Head bent in thought. Replaying the events in his mind. Tomorrow was the day. He was prepared. This certainly was going to be very easy.
He was in his position a little early. He had planned an all out attack. There was no need for him to find a secluded place from where he could choose to snipe unnoticed. Secrecy or delicacy weren’t the issue here at all. The people who’d hired him only wanted his assignment done. He promised results. The methods that were used immaterial.
There were only four guards and he would take them all out. The amount of time it would take for any other back up to arrive for help, was more than enough to make his getaway. With practiced dexterity he replaced the existing magazine in the gun with a new one, patted his overcoat to see if the explosives were still there, patted the other side to check for his knife and extra magazines, and mentally checked that the other gun was still in his right sock. He would not need to use any of the others except the gun in his hand. This was just force of habit.
He still had some time to kill. He lit a cigarette and waited.
And exactly at 10:30 am, as predictable as day, the general got into the car. His dog followed him in. The posse of guards got on their bikes. The man took a deep breath and stepped forward, his weapon already in firing position. The moment all four bikes and the front of the car came into his shooting range, he started to shoot. He reeled off six shots in a matter of three seconds. Every one of them hit home. The four guards fell before knowing what hit them. The chauffeur was slumped over the steering wheel, with a hole in his forehead. The man covered the distance between him and the open rear window of the car within the next two seconds, so that the general could see who his assassin was. That was his trademark. He made sure that the last thing that his victims saw before they died was his face.
He pointed the gun at the general and expressionlessly pulled the trigger. The gun clicked hollowly. Taken aback, he clicked thrice in succession. The gun was completely jammed. Nothing like this had ever happened before. Time slowed to the point of being completely still. The general recovered form the shock remarkably fast. A gun materialized in his hand suddenly, as if by magic. He fired once. The man felt the bullet thud just below his chest. He stepped backward half instinctively, half by the force of the bullet. The general fired again. The man felt the bullet enter his thigh this time. He was now falling backward in slow motion. After what seemed like an infinite time he hit the ground. The man was completely on auto-pilot now. In a daze he tried to reach for the gun in his socks. Bending over that much with a bullet in his stomach felt impossible. Automatically he removed a stick of explosive from his waist, lit the tip with his cigarette lighter, and threw it into the car through the open window – all in one movement.
All this had probably taken less than a few seconds. It felt like hours to the man.
The explosive fell on the seat next to the general. It still hadn’t gone off. Blindly the general picked it up and threw it back out of the window. The man followed the parabolic trajectory of the explosive from the car to where it fell just out of reach of his hands. He vaguely remembered that he should be having sights of his whole life flash before his eyes, at times like these. It seemed slightly ridiculous that the only thing he could think about was how he was watching his own end in slow motion.
The dog jumped out from the open window in a flash. It picked up the explosive stick, jumped back into the car and brought it back to the general.
And so I found this thick blue folder this morning. I hadn't come across that for a very long time now. It used to be the source of all knowledge and wisdom. It also used to be the storage space for all creative outpourings before the advent of Web 2.0. The contents of the folder included old question papers, random NTSE exam problem solving tips, humorous quotations and random quotations printed on the huge computer sheets with holes punched on both sides, the message of Gandhi and other leaders, random quiz questions, articles about the environment, culture, teaching in the mother tongue as opposed to English etc.. And more importantly it contained most of whatever I had written (with a lot of help from my dad) for the various essay competitions, speeches, debates etc. It also contained arbitrary pieces of poetry, random sketchings etc. A good part of today was spent in posting the stuff that was in English here. That explains the four posts that follow this one. :)PS: Both pics were ripped off the internet. Neither of them accurately describe the blue folder. The second one comes close though.
There’s a long and lonely highway
Crisscrossed by several byways
Leading to the cherished doorway
Many men, from the right way, sway.
The highway’s bumpy, and not all plain
Riddled with vices – the enemies of man
To tempt us, as best as they can
To smoother roads they promise, but to the frying pan
As tall beacons they stand everywhere
Spilling bright light and showing us the way
Lest we just become some common prey
Or in the huge maze, totally lose our way.
Guiding us back, if lost and astray,
Encouraging us, to seek the right way,
Lifting us up, when we fall, gently they say
Seeing us reach the goal – the doorway.
Preaching us to walk on our own legs
Helping us to find our own footsteps
Trying forever to make us the best
They are equal to God, ‘tis not a jest.
PS:
This was written when I was in 10th standard or so.
The Greenhouse Effect is a naturally occurring process that results in the heating of the earth’s surface and atmosphere. This is due to the particular property of certain atmosphere gases like carbon dioxide, nitrous oxide, methane etc. These gases allow the heat from the sun to reach the earth but absorb some of the outgoing heat energy, as the heat radiated by the earth is at a lower frequency than that of the incident energy. This is somewhat like the action of glass panels in a glass house. Without this natural green house effect, temperatures on earth would have been much lower and life would not have been possible. Due to this effect, earth’s temperatures are more hospitable at about 15C instead of -18C.
The matter of concern now is that since the industrial revolution, the atmospheric concentrations of these gases are on the rise. Over the past three centuries, atmospheric concentrations of carbon dioxide have increased 30% (from 280 ppm to 360 ppm), methane concentrations have more than doubled (from 0.7 ppm to 1.7 ppm), and nitrous oxide compounds have risen by 15 % (280 ppm to 310 ppm). In the absence of emission control policies carbon dioxide concentrations are projected to b 30 – 150 % higher in 2100 than today’s levels. The other gases involved in the green house effect are chlorofluorocarbons and tropospheric ozone. Of all the green house gases, carbon dioxide accounts for 55% of the enhancement in the earth’s green house effect. The contributions of other gases are: 25% by chlorofluorocarbons, 15% by methane, 5% by nitrous oxide. Ozone’s contribution to the enhancement of greenhouse effect is yet to be qualified.
Why are the greenhouse gas concentrations increasing? Scientists generally agree that the combustion of fossil fuels and other human activities are the primary reasons for this increase. The concentrations of carbon dioxide have increased due to several activities of humans after the industrial revolution. The major causes for the increased emission of this gas include (i) combustion of fossil fuels by industries, transportation, space heating, electricity generation, cooking (ii) vegetation changes in natural pairs, woodland and forest ecosystems. Emission from fossil fuel combustion accounts for 65% of the extra carbon dioxide now found in the atmosphere. The remaining 35% comes from the conversion of prairie woodland and forested ecosystems primarily into agricultural systems, as natural ecosystems can hold 20 – 100 times more carbon dioxide per unit area than agricultural systems. The major reasons for the additional methane in the environment are rice cultivation, domestic grazing animals, termites, land fills, coal mining, oil and gas extraction etc. The causes for the increase in nitrous oxide concentrations are land use conversions, fossil fuel combustion, biomass burning, soil fertilization. Most of the nitrous oxide added to the environment comes from deforestation and conversion of forest, savanna, grassland ecosystems into agricultural fields and range land. Both of these processes reduce the amount of nitrogen stored in the living vegetation and soil through the decomposition of organic matter. Greenhouse gases that are not naturally occurring are chlorofluorocarbons. They are byproducts generated by industrial processes such as foam production, refrigeration and air conditioning. Each greenhouse gas differs in its ability to absorb heat in the atmosphere. Chlorofluorocarbons have the highest capacity. Methane traps over 21 times more heat than carbon dioxide, and nitrous oxide absorbs 270 times as much as carbon dioxide.
The increase in the concentration of these greenhouse gases in the environment, also increases the heat trapping capacity of the earth, which effects many factors like temperature, precipitation, sea level, climatic condition etc. Global temperatures are found to be rising. Observations collected over the last century suggest that the average land surface temperature has risen by about 0.45C – 0.6C. Predictions of future climate indicate that by the middle of the next century earth’s global temperature may be 1C – 3 C higher than today. Precipitation has increased by about 1% over the world’s continents in the last century. High latitude areas are tending to see more significant increases in rainfall, but in some places precipitation has decreased too. These dry areas may become drier and wet areas wetter. Dude to the increasing global temperatures, the sea level has risen approximately 15 – 20 cms in the last century. Approximately 2 -5 cms of this rise has resulted by the melting of the mountain glaciers. Another 2 – 7 cms has resulted by the expansion of ocean water that results in warmer ocean climate. Rising sea level inundates wet lands and other low lying lands, erodes beaches, intensifies floods, salinity of rivers, bays and groundwater tables.
Greenhouse effect may also alter the regional climate, which in turn could alter forests, crop yield, water supplies, harm birds, fish and many types of ecosystems. Hurricanes, El-nino effects, forest fires are likely to become more frequent and severe as the earth becomes warmer. Throughout the world the prevalence of a particular disease and other threats to human health depend largely on the local climate. Extreme temperatures can directly cause the loss of life. Moreover, several serious diseases occur only in warm areas. Warm temperatures can increase air and water pollution which in turn harms human health. Higher air temperatures increase the concentration of ozone at ground level. The natural layer of ozone in the upper surface of the atmosphere blocks the harmful ultra violet radiation from reaching the earth’s surface, but in the lower atmosphere ozone is a harmful pollutant. It damages lung tissue, and causes particular problems for people with asthma and other lung diseases.
However, it must be pointed out that there is so unanimity in the scientific community regarding the impacts of the greenhouse effect. Figuring out to what extent the human induced accumulation of greenhouse gases since pre-industrial times is responsible for the global warming trend is not easy. This is because other factors, both natural and human affect the planet’s temperature. When the American Association for the Advancement of Science tried to get all the world’s leading climatologists to sign a paper affirming global warming, only 1% signed. In Leipzig, Germany at a global conference 80% of the climatologists said that there was not enough evidence to prove global warming.
There are scientists who believe that alternate scenarios could also emerge. One such argument is that, even though some areas may get affected by the sea rise, farming areas may open up farther north and areas like Russia could benefit. Farmers in Canada could have a longer growing season. Hence from an overall perspective the human race may gain rather than lose due to this effect. Another interesting view is that, we are presently in an inter-glacier period of an ice-age. The inter-glacier period started 16,000 years ago, and may soon be about up, with a return of glaciers covering the lands. If this was really correct, then rising seas does not seem as bad as glaciers marching towards lands and wiping out countries as they flow down south. Global warming may well prevent the ice age from returning. A third argument goes like this: if the Arctic cap melted, the sea level would not rise one inch because the Arctic ice is floating on the water just like an ice cube in a glass. Greenhouse effect warns of a 3C – 5C average temperature rise but it would take a 55C rise worldwide for 1000 years to melt the ice of the Antarctic. Finally the Sun heats the earth and not man. The Sun’s energy changes not only in short term sun-spot cycles, but also in long term 200 year cycles. According to fossil evidence the Sun is entering a cooling period that should max about the beginning of the 22nd century.
It is true that a section of scientists have identified that our health, agriculture, water, resources, forest, wild life, and coastal areas are vulnerable to the changes that global warming may bring. But projecting what exact changes will be over the 21st century remains very difficult. This is especially true, when one asks how a specified local region will be affected. Some of the greatest uncertainties are associated with events that pose a great risk to human societies.
Even with all these diverging views, we know for certain that human activities are changing the composition of the earth’s atmosphere. It is well accepted that greenhouse gases trap heat in the earth’s atmosphere and tend to warm the planet. By increasing the levels of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere, human activities are strengthening earth’s natural greenhouse effect.
True, there is no unanimity regarding the impact of Greenhouse Effect. Yet, there is no reason for us to be complacent about it. It is necessary to recognize that Greenhouse Effect is the manifestation of our activities upsetting the equilibrium of the earth’s atmosphere. We have to be proactive in maintaining its delicate balance. Afforestation and decreasing our dependence on fossil fuels based energy are the two major principles that should drive our future actions. Governments should discourage deforestation and actively pursue an agenda of afforestation. Populations throughout the world need to be sensitized, so that afforestation becomes a mass movement and hence successful. Decreasing our dependence on fossil fuel based energy is possible through two main approaches. One is reducing our energy consumption through conservation. The developed countries who are mainly responsible for the green house effect must take the lead in this regard. Sometimes this may call for some life-style changes. But they should be made to understand that the sacrifices needed (for the life style changes) are a small price to pay in order to sustain life on our planet. The second approach is developing an environment friendly energy sources such as wind, solar, micro hydel systems. The government and scientific community must concentrate their effects in this direction.
Our understanding of the Greenhouse Effect has a very important message – 'Development is important, but what is more important is Sustainable Development.'
PS:
This essay was originally written when I was in the 9th standard.
Everywhere in the essay, the degree part of the temperature needs to be assumed, as it is missing.
This won the second prize in the essay competition conducted by IISc.
Strangely, the results were announced and I got the award more than a year later. The only proof that I had got the second prize was a small piece of paper with the IISc stamp, with my name and II written on it. No idea what happened to it though.
Census of India 2001: A Pointer To The Nations Development
Census is the total process of collecting, compiling and publishing demographic, economic and social data pertaining at a specified time or times to all persons in a country or delimited territory. Census of India 2001 is the fourteenth of the uninterrupted series (once in every ten years) which began in 1872. The census of India 2001 is carried out in two phases. The first phase is the House Listing Operations. This was conducted from April to September 2000. The second phase is the Population Enumeration. This was conducted from the 9th to 28th February 2001. The reference ‘Census moment’ indicating the population of our country was 0.00 hours of 1st March 2001.
The first phase of Census of India 2001 began with the House Numbering Operations in which all the houses and structures were affixed a number and listed out in a systematic order. This was followed by the House Listing Operations in which information about the material used for construction, condition of the building, purpose for which it was built etc. from each building is collected. If the building is used for residential purposes a wide ranging set of information that throws light on the quality of life of the residents is collected. This data would provide a benchmark to study the quality of life, housing stock in different parts of the country etc.
The utility of the information generated during this phase can be summarized as follows: • It enables to ensure complete coverage if the geographical area of the country during Population Enumeration in 2001. • It helps to asses and estimate the quality of life of people of India, which is reflected by the availability or non-availability of amenities in each household • It is useful to find out the number of housing units – residential and non-residential in the country. It also helps to find out the purpose for which they are used. • It is useful to identify geographical areas at different levels of development. This can be utilized for preparing development plans for specific areas and for specific amenities. • It helps to generate statistics on the industries connected with production, marketing, and other related areas for the above items.
The major Census operation –Population Enumeration is aimed at collecting information regarding a wide range of subjects from every person. For this purpose the census authority has come up with a questionnaire consisting of three parts. The first part concerns the location particulars of the person. The second part is about individual particulars. It contains 23 questions out of which 15 questions are connected with general and socio-cultural characteristics like religion, sex, mother tongue, literacy status, disabilities etc. 5 questions are connected with the economic status of the person like- is he/she is/was a worker, economic activity etc. 2 questions concern migration characteristics. The remaining question is on fertility (for women only). The third part is meant for households engaged in cultivation and has questions like fertility of the soil, area of land under them etc.
The information collected will be tabulated to provide a static view on the demographic, social, cultural, and economic condition of the people. The statistics obtained would be useful to undertake a comparative evaluation with similar statistics returned with earlier censuses.
For all this procedure the total cost is estimated to be over Rs.1000 crore. The total process includes printing of over a billion questionnaires and the consumption of over 10,000 tons of paper. Around 2 million enumerators, drawn from the ranks of school teachers and government employees are pressed into service to interrogate 20 million households. Why do we go through this gigantic exercise? It is because a census is the most reliable pointer to the nation’s development.
The census data is indispensable for social and economic planning of the country. The planning commission utilizes the census data on the distribution of population by age, sex, classified by rural and urban areas, cities, town areas, and social groups to analyze the growth of consumer demand and savings in the process of development. An analysis of the areas of different population size with different characteristics certainly serves as a basis for government plans and investigations in basic social capital. The data on economic activity and education levels of the individual as collected in the census is very important for manpower planning. The housing needs can also be accurately estimated. Besides all these, the census data can prove very helpful in the formulation of policies on education, health, agriculture, food, development of road, rail transport etc.
The population census provides the basic data for administrative purposes. One of the most basic administrative uses of census data is the demarcation of constituencies, the allocation of representation, and reservations for SC/STs on governing bodies.
The population data has many important uses for business and industry. Reliable estimates of consumer demand for a variety of goods and services depend on accurate information on the size of the population and its distribution at least by age and sex, since these characteristics heavily influence the demand for housing, furnishing, clothing, recreational facilities, medical supplies and so forth.
The census provides reliable basis for scientific analysis and appraisal of the composition, distribution and past and prospective growth of the population. The changing patterns in the urban – rural concentration, the development of urbanized areas, the geographic distribution of population, social and economic characteristics of the population are the questions of vital interest in economic planning and development evaluation.
It is important to remember that the utility of the census is completely dependant on its accuracy. In order to facilitate the citizen to volunteer information fearlessly, the government of India guarantees to protect the privacy of the information provided by the citizens. It also guarantees that the census information given by any citizen cannot be used in any court of law against the citizen. In a country where illiteracy is widespread, it is necessary for the Census Enumerators to impress among all the individuals the utility and the need for accuracy in the census operation. All of us can contribute to the development of the country by spreading this message far and wide and helping in the successful conduct of Census 2001.
PS: • This essay was originally written when I was in the 9th standard. That was before the Census 2001 actually had happened. Thus the usage of future tense in a few places. • This essay won the first prize in the competition. The prize distribution ceremony was in Tumkur. I had been there with my dad. Since we reached early, we had been to a cousin’s place that was close by. I recall playing a really memorable game of chess that lasted for over 4 hours. That was the highlight of the day. • The actual event was a drab. Iron chairs and a dusty room with no more than 8 people. The prize was a set of the small green books on Gandhi’s principles packaged inside a TITAN watch cover box.
What is ‘Culture’? This question may bring forth several responses.
‘Culture is that which makes life worth living’.
‘Culture is not merely the sum of several activities but a way of life’.
‘Culture is that complex whole which includes knowledge, belief, art, morals, law, custom, and any other capabilities and habits acquired by man as a member of the society.’
‘Culture is that which being transmitted orally by tradition and objectively through writing and other means of expression enhances the quality of life through meaning and value by making possible the formulation, progressive realization, appreciation and achievement of truth, beauty and moral worth.’
These explanations and several others in this genre are true individually, but none of them can be said to capture the meaning of ‘culture’ completely. In other words, it is obvious that the word ‘culture’ defies a simple definition.
A set of cultural traits adopted by a group ‘to meet its needs and ensure its survival’ constitutes its culture. In this sense, culture could be associated with a nation, town, village or tribe.
From this perspective, what is Indian Culture? Is it possible to identify the elements of Indian Culture which transcend the barriers of time and space? Are there unifying forces in Indian Culture in spite of apparent differences in race, language, religion, customs, and traditions in this vast and ancient country?
According to Mr. K. M. Panikar – ‘India has a life view of her own, a special outlook on essential problems, which has persisted throughout her history and would hardly be denied by anyone.’
Mr. Panikar also identifies the following as some of the outstanding factors of the Indian Culture:
1. The tradition of tolerance adding to the richness and variety of Indian life
2. The sense of synthesis as reflected in racial harmony, the primary institutions of the village and family, architecture, sculpture, music and painting, modes of worship, faith in democratic institutions etc.
3. The universal outlook reflected in views such as – the world is one family.
4. The philosophical outlook
5. Respect for the individual based on the philosophical equation of Atma and Brahma
Indian culture has survived because in every generation the best among us have lived by certain fundamental values. We see many examples of this in our history. Starting from the Rishis in the Vedic period, we see several divine personalities like Mahavira, Buddha, Ashoka, Shankara, Madhvacharya, Krishnadevaraya, Akbar, Basava, Guru Govind Singh, Gandhi etc. who have spread these values through their preachings and examples.
The first value which underlies our culture is the faith in the Moral and Spiritual order. The Vedic sages called it Rita but later it was called Dharma. Age after age refinements were made in this concept but the faith has persisted in our people.
Rita is universal order, material, moral and spiritual which unfolds life. Satya or truth is its personal aspect, to live up to it through knowledge, devotion and action becomes a paramount demand on the sensitive individual who finds fulfillment by living up to it.
Satya in the sense of absolute sincerity, unity of thought, word and deed is not to be cultivated in a cave, or in a place of pilgrimage. It has to be lived in every action, in every occasion and every relationship.
The other value is dedication, surrender of the ego to God (Samyama). By living a dedicated life the individual recaptures the values for his own generation and passes it on as a legacy to the next one.
The third greatest value is consecration of life (Samarpana). Rigid asceticism is not consecration. Giving up life to find permanent salvation is not consecration. In order to realize consecration an individual needs to lead a full life in which every act comes to be consecrated as an offering to God.
In order to live up to these values in individual and collective life desire, greed, malice, anger, hatred have to be converted to noble aspirations.
Our religious tolerance and love for peace have been the natural outcomes of these values.
The legacies of Indian Culture based on these values upheld generation after generation in all aspects of human endeavors is so enormous that any attempt to list them all would certainly be futile.
Indian culture has always been dynamic and open. Its innate strength is evident in the outcomes of the interactions with various other tribes. Indian Culture has received, adapted and digested elements of different cultures like Indo-European, Mesopotamian, Iranian, Greek, Arabian, Roman and has changed little with each influence. But Indian Culture will retain its continuity. The Bhagwad Gita will never cease to inspire men of action and Upanishads the men of thought. The charm and the graciousness of the Indian way of life will continue. Be it religion, philosophy, maths, commerce, art, architecture, music, painting, or any other enterprise the impact of the Indian Culture is easily discernible even in the global content.
PS: This was originally written when I was in 10th standard. This essay won the second prize in the Canara Bank essay writing competition.
Notable events on the prize distribution day -
Venkatesh Prasad handed out the certificates. The dude looks so much taller in real life than he ever does on the TV screen. He was easily the tallest guy there.
It was on July 30, 2000. The exact day that Veerappan chose to kidnap Dr. Rajkumar. The one time I got to watch a riot right in front of my eyes, first hand. The first time I walked for more than 8 kms because there were no other means of transport. The closest I have ever been to burning rubber tires and smashed cars. And the longest impromptu holidays.
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