Evacuation Drill - Advance Notification

And there was a mail titled: "Evacuation Drill - Advance Notification" about a couple of days ago.

Since this has been about the most `happening' thing here for a while now; and since this usually involves some movement away from the well set route from the main building to the cubicle; and since it has been a long time since the last post and waiting for some divine inspiration seems like a waste of time; and since this is compilation time plus since this monitor is a CRT, and also since there is no decent room among the aisles to follow this advice... [The alt-text in the original strip reads: "'Are you stealing those LCDs?' 'Yeah, but I'm doing it while my code compiles.'"]
... I created a new virtual desktop, named it Arbits, invoked MS Word from Linux and started from - "And there was a mail...".

As the story goes, It was just another Thursday yesterday. For all practical purposes, it could have been a Tuesday, and none the wiser. This would be the direct result of all the working days mashing into one entity called the Weekday. And then there is the Weekend entity. And thus the week is constituted.
I digress. For good reason though.

As stated, it was just another Thursday yesterday. It was the compilation time again. I had decided to use it to return a library book that I had borrowed. The only purpose the book had served, for about three months, was to add about 138 gms to my bag, but since I had got a much thicker Ken Follet novel - 'A Dangerous Fortune', after serious thought, decided to let this one go.

Along the way from the library, I met with a few people who were on the way to play table tennis, and I decided to go along. We went all the way there, through the drizzle that was falling from the heavens all around us, and just as we managed to find some rackets that could be remotely identified, from a few angles, as being used to play table tennis at some point of time in their lifetimes; this guard runs up to us and says that the centre needs to be closed down as there is a Fire Drill in the main building - which is a five minutes walk away. I go that place to play after more than a month, and I get shooed away because of the fear of a fake fire spreading to an unconnected building, two furlongs way, through the now steadily falling downpour.

The best part was when, moments before we were ushered out, another guard ran into the changing rooms, and together both guards started banging on the door of this dude who was having a bath inside. It's a pity that I couldn't stay to watch the person's expression, as he was kicked off half way through his shower.

I spent the evacuated time sitting near the parking lot, under a sheet roof, watching the rain fall on the parked cars, and waiting for some guard to call me off from there, as evacuation protocol dictates, in no unclear terms, that all personnel should gather only at the front of the building. Mostly, since they were all too busy fighting invisible flames, or pasting post-it notes, all of which were scribbled with the grim message "Evacuation - Fire Alarm. Do Not Enter" on everything that can be called as doors or windows, I was left undisturbed.

Anyway.. the story ends with the guys coming back to play fifteen minutes later, under one huge umbrella, and me joining them... But that would be tagged 'digression' again.

Guess this is enough build-up to copy paste the mail that I had sent to the new hire email group, about a year ago, after a very similar fire drill exercise. The compilation should be done in another few minutes anyway.

The mail follows:
________________________________________
Subject: Re: Rescue Operations - Part 2
From: "P N, Aniruddha"
Date: Fri, 5 Dec 2008 21:29:47 +0530
To: [all new hires]

Things learned:

0. In case of a real fire - DO NOT use the stairs immediately.
a. Sleepwalking snails cover the same distance in a shorter time period.
b. It is just a stampede waiting to happen
c. The fire alarms are really loud, and most of those seem to be concentrated near the stairs
d. The surrounding people are good conductors of fire

So, this is what you do:
Relax in your cubicle and think of a good status message along the lines of 'brb.. building in flames'; check the latest news; random xkcd, or whatever else makes you happy - till the smoke gets so thick that you can no longer see the monitor -

Then:
1. Take the lift. Feel real happy because for once at least you can look at something else except your shoes or your mobile
2. If 1 is not an option, get to the terrace and wait for a fireman with a makeshift ladder - it is way cooler to get down that way.
3. None of the above + no other creative ideas - like using ropes and imitating Tarzan, using Sharingan imitating Sasuke etc. + then give up, put on some music to shut out the sound of alarms, sigh and go to 0.
[But by now a., b., and d. are taken care off - so it's a 75% better situation]

:P

Happy weekend ya'all,

Kampai,
Aniruddha P N

Statutory Warning: All described actions to be carried out at your own risk

PS: I thought of putting a J at the end of the mail, but I figured a warning would serve a better purpose.
___________________________________________________________
In response to:
________________________________________
From: [undisclosed sender]
Sent: Friday, December 05, 2008 4:39 AM
To: [all new hires]
Subject: Rescue Operations

Can some one summarize how many people got affected due to the emergency? How many got rescued with no injuries etc
________________________________________

Of miles and stones

This is the...
And to all the people who took their time off to look at the blog, comment, criticize, correct, complain, compliment, discuss, debate, elaborate, feign interest, follow, LQTM'd, meh'd, LOL'ed at, snigger, praise, peruse, turn their nose up at, teach..
Thank you!
Thank you very much!

Still life.

Simulation time.
Pencil on paper. Inverted. Colored.
Fifteen minutes well spent.

Twitter is over capacity.

This is what happened when I tried to login to my twitter account:
Name this pic:
I could only come up with:
1. Twitter : A whale of a problem
2. Twitter : Sleeping with the fishes
3. Twitter : Four moronic birds
4. Twitter : Fail Whale

Got more?
:P

Firefox 3.5 Beta Preview

Firefox usually updates automatically every time there is a new release. The only difference is the look of the home page this time around:Looks like it came right out of a sci-fi manga.

PS: The only difference from the other version, that I can see right away, is the 'Open a new tab' button on the opened-tabs bar has gone pale, compared to the bluish color previously.
PPS: Everything else feels the same.
PPPS: YAY! that its been raining cats and dogs for about two hours now.

According to brilliance...

.. the Manga/ Anime I have read/seen till now:

1. One Piece [Manga + Anime]
2. Berserk [Manga + Anime]
3. Bleach [Manga + Anime]
4. Naruto [Manga + Anime]
5. Death Note [Anime]
6. Full Metal Alchemist [Manga + Anime]
7. Samurai X: Rurouni Kenshin [Anime]
8. Nodame Cantabile [Anime]
9. Ubel Blatt [Manga]
10. Vagabond [Manga]
11. Kenichi [Anime]
12. Gun X Sword [Anime]
13. Gantz [Manga]
14. Eden [Manga]
15. Fruits Basket [Anime]
16. Avatar [Anime]
17. Macross Zero [Anime]
18. Akira [Manga]
19. Hellsing [Anime]
20. Busou Renkin [Anime]
21. Black Lagoon [Anime]
22. Blame! [Manga]
23. Bitter Virgin [Manga]
24. Elfen Lied [Manga]
25. Afro Samurai [Anime]

PS: Found half of this list lying around... just added whatever else came to my head.
PPS: The list doesn't include other famous titles like Dragon Ballz, Samurai Champloo, Cowboy Bepop, Inuyasha, Fate Stay Night, Full Metal Panic, Full Metal Alchemist: Part 2: The Brotherhood, Gintama, Seirei no Moribito, Code Geass, Detective School Q etc. 'coz I haven't seen enough of these to fit them into the list.
PPPS: Got nothing good watch right now. Looking around for some decent anime (not necessarily from the list in PPS). Suggestions welcome.

The Bottle

The man knew this place like the back of his hand. He probably could sketch each rock, every tree, the anthills present here from memory. He trod the pathway unfeelingly today. Mechanically. Noticing nothing. His legs carried him without any conscious effort on his part.

He swayed a little as he walked. He gripped the bottle in his hand tighter. It had been a long time since he had been to this place. He stopped a moment and took a deep swig of liquor from the bottle.

Random scenes started floating in his memory. He started to walk without realizing again. He had always been lonely in his life. But he had never felt alone. It was only after he got married and had his first child, he had realized that his life had really been empty till then. He was happy for the first time in his life.

The scenes in his head ware clear and the images lifelike. He was holding and feeding his son while the toddler was gazing at the moon. He was holding his kid’s hand as he walked his first steps. He was blowing air into the wheels of the tricycle, as the child impatiently danced around him. He was teaching him the alphabet from a ridiculously huge chart. He was trying to explain division as repeated subtractions. He was correcting the loops in the ‘g’s and the ‘y’s in the boy’s cursive writing book. He was waving his son a bon voyage, as he left with his mother on a ship - a trip on the sea - which had always been the boy’s dream; using all the strength he could muster to keep his tears hidden. He could, as clear as day, hear his son’s choked voice assuring him that he would explain in detail every little thing that occurred on the trip. He could see his wife smiling, as she put an arm across their son’s shoulders. He was watching as the ship drifting away beyond the horizon.

The images became muddled and blurry then. It was like in a tragic movie fast forwarded. Headlines from various papers about the shipwreck. Delays in the search and rescue teams. Body counts. Missing people. His son and his wife among the feared dead list. Mourning and cries. His first drink. His tenth. His hundredth…

The cold sea breeze hit him then. That broke the images and brought him to the present like magic. He stared into the calm sea for a while. His mind was surprisingly clear for the first time from a long time now. He had always loved this beach. He had fallen in love with this place about the same age that his son had. The family used to come here as often as they could. This was a secluded and an unheard of place. It always felt peaceful here. He felt that he belonged again. The raising and falling of the waves calmed him. He stood there for a long time. He slowly began to feel that he could heal. That, at last, he could accept that his family was gone.

By force of habit, he raised the bottle to his mouth. The moment the liquid touched his lips, he felt disgusted with himself. His child would not want to see his father like this. No one would. He had let his sadness ruin his life long enough. He ran a few steps on the sand and threw the bottle as far as he could into the sea.

He felt strangely light. He took a huge breath and exhaled slowly. He could feel the pain of his loss start to ebb away slowly. He sat down on the beach and looked at the reflection of the moon on the waves in the distance transfixed. The waves lapped at his feet every now and then. He felt that he was a part of nature.

After a long time he decided to leave. He would change everything. The beach had done him a world of good. But there were just too many memories here. He decided that he would go to a far off place and start a new and sober life all over again.

He stood up and turned around. The bottle lay in his way again. The sight of it somehow made him angry. He picked it up, all set to throw it into the sea again.

But this bottle felt different. It felt slightly old. He looked at it. It was opaque, dark and corked. It was not the same bottle that he had thrown away. He pulled the cork off, and realized that it had a letter within.

The moonlight was not really bright. But the man didn’t really need anything more. He did not even need to read till the end of the letter.

It started – ‘To Daddy…’.

He could recognize the loop of the letter y in his sleep.

The Party

PS: 'Cos even small ideas are publishable too'

PS1: TINAMITE: The internal online quarterly magazine of the company
PS2: Before I knew it I had a mail saying -

Aniruddha: Welcome to Tinamite team and we look forward to working with you.

As a part of the 'working with you' I was to write an article to - 'enthuse many more TIers to become a part of/ contribute articles in many ways to TINAMITE'.
PS3: The article is pasted exactly as it appears in the magazine.
PS4: The article below took the least amount of time to post to the blog ever. I just 'selected all' in the original article and middle-clicked in the create-new-post window. :)
PS5: Editing the article in blogger - even adding this PS - is screwing up the entire arrangement of words and images. That is the reason for the existence of this post.
PS6: The background in the original article in the magazine is white.
PS7: TINAMITE May 2009 Issue

Update: The pictures in the post below had to be modified as the original pictures were linked to the company's internal site. :)

Cos even small ideas are publishable too

[This article is a stub. You can help TINAMITE by sending in new articles of your own.]

Wise men say to open with a joke. Especially in posts like this one. Studies have shown that most of the times, this makes people to actually read till the second paragraph at least. I thought of using the spherical chicken joke*, but deemed that too clichéd, thus, a bar joke follows - “Infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third, a quarter of a beer. And so on. The bartender says "You're all idiots", and pours two beers.”

Subject of the article:
‘Put Something In’ TINAMITE, where ‘Put Something In’ is partly defined by:

Put Something In Draw a crazy picture Write a nutty poem. Sing a mumble-gumble song Whistle through your comb Put something silly in the world That ain't been there before.

- Shel Silverstien

On a more serious note:
A man should hear a little music, read a little poetry, and see a fine picture every day of his life, in order that worldly cares may not obliterate the sense of the beautiful which God has implanted in the human soul.[1]

It is certain that in this esteemed organization that several people amongst us have unique talents that transcend just exemplary skills in everyday work. So, put your creative hats on, grab a piece of paper, a pencil and get started. Consider this article a personal invitation to submit your creative outpourings.

Frequently Asked Questions:

How to write?
No thinking - that comes later. You must write your first draft with your heart. You rewrite with your head. The first key to writing is... to write, not to think! [2]

What to write about?
• Travelogues: The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page [3]. So, Travel. Fill pages. Submit the pages filled. Thus, more people can travel. Fill pages…

• Music: Supposed to be language of the soul. The poetry of the air. Love in search of a word. The shorthand of emotion. What feelings sound like. So, if you stumble upon some music that comes close to the above description, spread the joy. Let others know. Choose TINAMITE.

• Gaming: The Quakers, the Counter Strikers, DOTA warriors, PS2/ PS3/ Xbox/ Nintendo /Dreamcast/Game boy users, the MMORPGers - the rouges, the priests, the night crawlers, even people who stick to Minesweeper - As a Draenai Elf Vendor might say - "Your gold is welcome here!" (as long as it takes the form of an article) - feel free to discuss latest games, latest consoles, 25 men raids, God Like and Triple kills... even less than 100 seconds in expert level Minesweeper.

• Short Stories: The short story is like an old friend who calls whenever he is in town. We are happy to hear from it; we casually fan the embers of past intimacies, and buy it lunch[4]. Send in your stories. We would be really happy to hear from you. We might buy you lunch too.

• Poetry: The only problem with Haiku is that you just get started and then[5] Any poem with more than 17 syllables, thus, is most welcome.

• Art: A picture is worth a thousand words. A sketching or a painting is worth even more. Enough said.

• Hobbies: When your hobbies get in the way of your work - that's OK; but when your hobbies get in the way of themselves... well…[6] Put them in the magazine.

• General stuff: Individuals can expect miracles to happen to them, at the rate of about one per month [7]. Document any such revelation informally in TINAMITE for the greater good.

If you are reading this, it means that you have almost reached the end of this article:
• Firstly, thanks a lot from taking the time out and perusing the article. Arigato Gozaimasu.
• To define is to limit[8]. The ideas presented here constitute just the tip of the iceberg. As the tagline of the magazine says: Let your thoughts explode.
• Always remember -
o “Nothing is original” [9]
o “It’s not where you take things from—it’s where you take them to” [10]
o “90 percent of everything is crud.” [11]

We sincerely hope that you take up an action item to contribute for the future issues of the magazine.

* A farmer notices that his chickens were sick, and calls in a friend, who happens to be a physicist to help diagnose the problem. The physicist calls him back a few days later and says: “I think I have solved your problem, but it works only for spherical chickens in a vacuum”.

Credits:

[1] Johann Wolfgang von Goethe. [2] Forrester, Finding Forrester [2000]. [3] St. Augustine. [4] R Z Sheppard. [5] Roger McGough. [6] Steve Martin.

[7] Littlewood's law [8] Wiltshire's Law of Explanation [9] Jim Jarmusch [10] Jean Luc Godard [11] Sturgeon's revelation

Spice

the only variety in life...

PS:

• Long since forgot what I set out to draw. Finished the second part of the strip. Didn't want to discard that amount of effort [:)]
• Just to clarify. The dude in the strip is eating.
  

Edit: White Noise (Header)

The full screen F11 screen shot on my computer looks something like this. Scrolling down is absolutely essential for every small thing. This is in no way user friendly. And me being the most frequent user, it doesn't help in any way. And as the blog is creepy as it is, I can get rid of the huge picture.

Anyway, since there was some effort in choosing that particular picture and caption, and since the net keeps stabbing every five minutes or so, I thought I would write a couple of lines to justify why they were put up in the first place, before discarding them.

The header picture is the theatrical poster for the movie - White Noise, released in 2005.The caption is a play on the original quote by Don DeLillo on his own book called White Noise."It's about fear, death, and technology. A comedy, of course." -- DeLillo quoted in 1984. And I duly changed it to - "It's about randomness, life, and philosophy. A comedy, of course."

What the book - White Noise by DeLillo is really about -
From the DeCurtis interview, DeLillo:

"In White Noise in particular, I tried to find a kind of radiance in dailiness. Sometimes this radiance can be almost frightening. Other times it can be almost holy or sacred.... Our sense of fear--we avoid it because we feel it so deeply, so there is an intense conflict at work.... I think it is something we all feel, something we almost never talk about, something that is almost there. I tried to relate it in White Noise to this other sense of transcendence that lies just beyond our touch. This extraordinary wonder of things is somehow related to the extraordinary dread, to the death fear we try to keep beneath the surface of our perceptions."

I try to do exaclty the same, as evident from any random post of mine. :P

The idea was to continue ranting till the net stabilies. And it has now. /Rant thus
Btw, this blog made the status message of some 8 people in my gchat list simultaneoulsy. It is worth a read. :)
PS: The full screen F11 screen shot of the blog looks now like this:Only the font remains. Way better now. LQTM at Leo Tolstoy Quote though.
PPS: For those who follow anime - Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood has started. YAY!